Accountable2You » Resources » Personal Accountability » How To Stop Watching Pornography
Pornography may appear harmless at first, but those who have fallen into its trap will tell you a different story. I’ve seen regret and desperation in the faces of those caught in this life-dominating sin when they realize the depth of pornography’s grip on their desires, thoughts, and habits.
Perhaps this describes where you are right now. Despite promising yourself over and over that you will never look at pornography again, you find yourself right back where you started. Consumed with guilt and shame, you scour the internet for answers on how to stop watching pornography.
But at the same time, you’re thinking, What’s the point? After all, you’ve tried all the tips and tricks to quit pornography, yet none of them seem to work. Week after week, another failed attempt at relying on willpower leaves you hopeless.
You are not alone in thinking this. I’ve heard from individuals who thought pornography was their biggest enemy. They became fixated on counting the days they didn’t look at pornography while neglecting other sins in their lives. Until they understood that God calls His children to be holy in all areas (1 Peter 1:16), being pornography-free was their ultimate goal.
As a Christian, God’s will for you is your sanctification, including your sexual purity (1 Thessalonians 4:3–7). You cultivate purity from without and within when you habitually choose holiness over pornography. As you pursue a life of purity, consider these principles from 2 Timothy 2:22: flee from sin, come to Christ, and share with others. Arm yourself with tools, such as the memory aids from The Purity Shield, to help you form vital defenses against sexual sin.
The best way to avoid sin is to flee or run as far away from it as possible. Paul's command to Timothy to "flee from youthful lusts" carries serious weight (2 Timothy 2:22). To flee is to rush away from a dangerous situation. Paul urges Timothy to have this disposition toward the sins that characterize youthful desires, including sexual lust. Like Timothy, you must constantly run from sin as though your life depended on it, because it does.
Proverbs 6:27 shows the folly of thinking you can carry fire next to your chest without being burned. If you have experienced the devastation that pornography brings, you shouldn't want to be anywhere near it. You must do what Paul commanded the Corinthian church: “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV). When you run away from sin, you are not showing weakness, but maturity. Joseph displayed godly character when he fled at the first sign of temptation (Genesis 39:12).
When you run away from sin, you are not showing weakness, but maturity.
In Matthew 18:9, Jesus speaks of going to such extremes as cutting off body parts that cause one to sin. Although He was speaking in hyperbole, the point is clear: no earthly possession is worth keeping if it becomes an instrument to sin against God. In the case of someone struggling with pornography, it’s better to have a basic phone or no phone at all than have a smartphone that makes sin accessible.
You shouldn’t put yourself in compromising positions and expect to easily say no to sin. If you know that being alone with your personal devices makes it hard to resist sin, then take the necessary steps to make no provision for your flesh (Romans 13:14). Do everything you can to avoid potential exposures. After removing all past access to pornography, set up barriers to prevent future temptation.
When you’re running away from something, you need to head toward a new direction. After Paul calls Timothy to flee from sin, he tells him to “pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace” (2 Timothy 2:22). This is where much of the advice on how to stop watching pornography falls short. You can divert your attention by picking up a hobby or listening to music. You can even make a list of the harmful effects of pornography and why you should quit. But none of these things can change your heart. God’s Word gives the only lasting solution: come to Christ.
A Christian’s desire for purity must stem from a heart that loves God more than sin. It must be motivated by the truth of the Gospel: The holy God has saved me from sin. I shouldn’t go back to it. As Paul reminded the Christians in Corinth: “Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11).
True repentance starts with the humble recognition that sexual immorality displeases God and you need His help to live in purity. As a holy God who has set His children apart, He calls them to obey from the heart. He desires to see them strive for a lifetime of holiness (Hebrews 12:14), not merely aim for a season of abstinence.
A Christian’s desire for purity must stem from a heart that loves God more than sin.
If you have indulged in pornography, confess your sins to God and ask Him for help. When you do, He promises to forgive you your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). He will faithfully restore those who turn to Him in repentance. But if you do not have a personal relationship with God through Christ, you need to first acknowledge your need for a Savior. Turn from your sin, believe in Jesus Christ, and confess Him as Lord (Romans 10:9). Through the Holy Spirit, God will change your desires so that you will increasingly love Him and hate sexual sin.
The Gospel continues its transforming work when the believer submits to God’s Word. Psalm 119:9 points to this as the key to remaining pure. Followers of Jesus need to meditate on biblical truth (Psalm 1:2) and let the mind of Christ dwell in them richly (Colossians 3:16). Actively fill your mind with what is pure and true so that you can reject what is impure (Philippians 4:8). Pursue knowing Christ and becoming more like Him by applying God's Word to your daily practice. The more you run after Christ, the more you will see that pornography pales in comparison to His beauty.
When you’re running hard after purity, you benefit from others who have the same goal. Paul knew the value of a Christlike community when he called Timothy to pursue Christlikeness "with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart" (2 Timothy 2:22). This kind of community is essential because real Christian accountability involves people who will lovingly confront your sin and speak the truth to you (Ephesians 4:15).
God designed the church to be a place where His children regularly assemble to hear His Word and provide mutual encouragement (Hebrews 10:25). If you are coddling sin in your life, the tendency will be to isolate (Proverbs 18:1). You believe the lie that you don't need anyone's help and that you can overcome your struggles on your own. But as with any sin, pornography cannot be defeated apart from the help of God and others.
Pornography cannot be defeated apart from the help of God and others.
Instead of isolating yourself, share your life and sin struggles with trusted believers who can keep you accountable. Reach out to a mature believer in your local church or fellow followers of Jesus who know you well. Confess your sins to them (James 5:16). Admit that you have been struggling with pornography, and invite them to help you live in holiness. When they reach out to you for accountability, be honest and transparent.
Paul points out the danger of the opposite kind of community in 1 Corinthians 15:33: "Bad company corrupts good morals." He even goes so far as to command the church in Corinth not to associate with a so-called brother who is sexually immoral (1 Corinthians 5:9-11). Perhaps certain relationships are making it harder for you to live in purity. Are there immoral relationships in your life that you need to cut off, whether real or fantasy?
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus makes a hope-filled promise to those who pursue purity: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). One day, everyone that Christ has made pure will behold His face (Revelation 22:4). But until that day, those who pursue purity get to see God clearly through the eyes of faith and find delight in Him in this lifetime.
Christians who pursue purity will make a habit of fleeing from sin, coming to Christ, and sharing their lives with others. This is not a three-step program. Neither are these passive weapons waiting to be wielded at the point of temptation. They are to be the believer’s lifestyle. Make them a pattern of your life alongside the fortifying practices of regular repentance, Christian community, and thoughtful transparency.
As countless men and women can testify, freedom from pornography is possible. When you make the pursuit of purity your ultimate goal and depend on God’s grace as you do, you too can experience freedom and know how to stop watching pornography.
Stephanie Colinco is the Educational Content Manager at Accountable2You. She holds degrees in biblical counseling (MABC, TMU; DEdMin, SBTS) and loves using her training to serve women both globally and at her local church, Grace and Truth Church Cincinnati.