Accountable2You » Resources » Personal Accountability » Why Can't I Pray the Lust Away?
As a younger Christian, I genuinely believed that as long as I was praying for God to remove my sinful desires, I was doing everything I was supposed to do to be free from pornography. But despite my earnest prayers, I would still find myself falling back into the very sin I had begged God to remove. This constantly left me frustrated, ashamed, and confused. Why wasn’t prayer working? What was I missing?
It took far too long, but I eventually learned that while prayer is very important, the pursuit of purity isn’t effortless. In addition to prayer, Christians must actively strive to obey God, who provides us with His grace and Spirit to enable and empower our obedience.
Prayer is a vital aspect of the Christian life and is essential for spiritual growth. However, it does not remove the Christian’s responsibility to actively kill sin. Some may misinterpret passages like Proverbs 3:5–6 to suggest that simply trusting in God is enough, or Philippians 4:6–7 to limit our responsibility to merely presenting our requests to Him, but these interpretations overlook the broader context of Scripture.
In essence, we must actively pursue spiritual growth and resist sin, but we do so with the strength God provides.
Proverbs 3:5–6 does call believers to trust in the Lord and not lean on their own understanding, but we can see in the following verse that believers are required to actively turn away from evil and walk in wisdom (Proverbs 3:7). Similarly, while Philippians 4:6–7 encourages us to bring our concerns to God in prayer, His peace that we receive as a result is meant to empower us to obey His Word, not eliminate our responsibility to fight against sin.
Paul helps clarify this in Philippians 2:12–13 when he exhorted Christians to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,” while reminding them that “it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” This highlights the partnership between our active efforts and the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit.
In essence, we must actively pursue spiritual growth and resist sin, but we do so with the strength God provides. Prayer signifies our dependence on Him, while obedient actions demonstrate our submission. Both are necessary elements of the Christian life.
When I say that Christians must actively strive toward obedience, it may lead some to ask, “Doesn’t ‘strive’ mean it’s a works-based salvation?” Let me assure you that it does not. But that question is an important step in the right direction because we must not confuse our standing before God (justification) with our gradual conforming to Christlikeness (sanctification).
If we view our sanctification as entirely God’s responsibility, we’re not only holding an unbiblical view but also a dangerous one.
A Christian’s standing is secured by grace through faith, not by works, at the moment of salvation (Ephesians 2:8–9). But in gratitude for that standing and through the Spirit that has given us new life, Christians are to strive for holiness to be sanctified. This is not an attempt to earn salvation, but is instead evidence and a fruit of the work that God is doing within us (Titus 2:11–12; Hebrews 12:14). When we strive for holiness, we are simply acknowledging that we are responsible for putting effort into removing sin from our lives and obeying God’s Word (Romans 6:11).
If we view our sanctification as entirely God’s responsibility, we’re not only holding an unbiblical view but also a dangerous one. We risk making it seem like our sins are God’s fault. Instead of repentance, we blame shift: “Why didn’t You stop me, God? Why wasn’t the way out clearer?”
So, if we aren’t supposed to be passive, how should we deal with our sins?
In his book, The Pursuit of Holiness, Jerry Bridges writes, “No one can attain any degree of holiness without God working in his life, but just as surely, no one will attain it without effort on his own part.” This truth is grounded in Philippians 2:12–13.
Our striving for holiness is an effort, but it’s an effort reliant on God’s grace. God commands us to work, but He also equips and empowers us to do so. Let’s consider some practical ways Christians can pursue godliness in their lives.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells believers to gouge out and cut off whatever body part that causes them to sin (Matthew 5:29). He does not mean it literally, but He is saying that we need to take sin seriously and remove access to temptation.
For example, a struggle with pornography may call for canceling Internet access, streaming services, or throwing out specific devices completely. Radical amputation often means removing even good or valuable things, but Jesus makes it clear: no convenience is worth continued sin.
Temptation won’t completely disappear even after radical amputation. So, God has provided armor to equip us in the fight against temptation and sin (Ephesians 6:10–20).
Spiritual armor is “put on” by developing spiritual disciplines to grow in godliness (1 Timothy 4:7). We wield the sword of the Spirit and the belt of truth when we read, study, and meditate on God’s Word. We employ the shield of faith when we pray and trust in God’s promises. We shod our feet by preparing and being willing to share the Gospel. We put on the breastplate of righteousness and the helmet of salvation when we live in obedience and with integrity for God’s glory. We put on God’s armor to defend us against temptation and help us advance in holiness.
Christians can find further defense in the community of believers since God never asks us to pursue holiness alone. In fact, believers are encouraged to gather for encouragement (Hebrews 10:24–25), confession, prayer (James 5:16), restoration of those in sin, and mutual support (Galatians 6:1–2). When we isolate ourselves, we defy Scripture and weaken our defenses (Proverbs 18:1). This includes isolation in the digital world. Consider installing Accountable2You to foster accountability and transparency in your use of technology.
If you’ve been trying to quit pornography through your own efforts and keep failing, it may be because you’ve never truly come to Christ in repentance and faith. Hope and freedom begin with salvation in Jesus, who not only forgives sin but breaks its power. Without Him, the fight will be futile. Call out to Him for help.
For the Christian who has been praying for purity but feels stuck, don’t lose hope. God hasn’t abandoned you. He who has called you to walk in holiness and obedience will also empower you with His grace and Spirit. Keep running to Him.