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Personal Accountability

Overcome Pornography through Accountability

by Scot Chadwick

Pornography hurts countless people across the world and devastates many relationships. Learn how accountability can help you overcome pornography and develop healthy habits.

The Dangers of Being Alone

Being alone on a device can easily lead to making poor choices. These days most internet activity takes place on smartphones and other mobile devices. This personal, handheld equipment almost guarantees that the experience will be private and hidden from others.

Accountability Starts with You

Offer no excuses on how people or things prevent you from changing.

While you might encounter pornography accidentally, you are typically not a victim but a willing participant in viewing pornography. Is your desire to run away from explicit material or linger over it and even seek it out? The problem starts with you—not your devices, not other people, not your circumstances. Do not blame others or try to affix the guilt on anyone but yourself. Offer no excuses on how people or things prevent you from changing.

Confess and acknowledge the harm associated with pornography. You have hurt others, and you must understand how they would want separation from you. Acknowledge that you are responsible for your choices and that you do not always make the best ones.

Decide to Change

Ultimately you must decide what is important to you. Do you hate pornography in your life? Why do you hate it? Focus more on pursuing the positive than avoiding negative. Your attention should be less on eliminating harmful behavior and more on instilling healthy behavior. Strong motivation and a clear plan can help you withstand a fleeting desire.

Since the problem starts with you, the solution begins with you as well. Having accountability forced upon you rarely works. You see, accountability works best with a willing individual. If you are not ready to change your behavior, you likely will not change at all.

You need to accept ownership for changing yourself. Begin by becoming aware of the issues you have to address and committing yourself to take action and get results.

Manage Temptations and Triggers

Various circumstances and influences might trigger your use of pornography, such as

  • Being alone
  • Loneliness
  • Boredom
  • Idle time
  • Lustful cravings
  • Tiredness
  • Pop-up ads
  • Unhelpful companions
  • Sense of entitlement
  • Anger
  • Bitterness
  • Unresolved conflict
  • Stress
  • Unrealistic expectations of others
  • Escapism

These pressures might appear minor, but they can wield tremendous impact. Even so, poor choices are not inevitable after tempting or triggering situations. Just because you encounter a trigger does not mean you must choose an unhealthy action. Flee from tempting situations and do not go looking for them in the first place.

You can shape your response, but sometimes avoiding the situation is the best choice.

Take time to recognize any patterns in your behavior that might suggest what triggered your unhealthy actions. What can you do differently? For example, maybe your use of pornography typically happens during your lunch break when you are alone on your device. Perhaps you could put your device away and read a book instead.

Exercise self-control for your good. Direct your thoughts and your actions to act responsibly. Choose your friends carefully so you will be built up and not torn down.

Accountability Involves Others

A root idea of accountability is the ability to give an account of yourself to another person. If you know you will have to explain your behavior, then you will likely more carefully consider what to do.

Sure, you can find ways to manipulate your accountability relationship. But why would you undermine your progress? Do not try to establish an appearance of purity and accountability when you know that you will satisfy your desires through hidden methods. Outward change comes from an inward change.

Cultivate a Supportive Community

Effective accountability is a tool that intensifies your desire to change with the help of a supportive community. It is not spying on you or a weapon that others use against you. Whether through a spouse, marriage counselor, or another friend, accountability is an aspect of genuine relationships.

Benefits of Accountability

When you become vulnerable to others about your struggle, you will learn that pornography is a common problem. Your situation is not unique. Others deal with this issue and can identify with you. They can also show you what has helped them.

Your accountability partner is not your lifeline or savior. Only you have the responsibility to change your life for the better.

Accountability can help you avoid blind spots that you cannot or will not see yourself. By listening to the perspective of others, you can discern your faults, recognize triggers, and correct your choices and actions. They can give you counsel as you converse together. But realize that your accountability partner is not your lifeline or savior. Only you have the responsibility to change your life for the better.

As you seek to change your life for the better, you might begin to lose sight of your goal. You might become overwhelmed or stuck in your plan. An accountability partner can help you see the positive and negative results of your behavior. They can encourage you and affirm the positive direction you seek.

Rebuild Trust

Others do not trust you because you have proven yourself to be untrustworthy. Accountability encourages open and honest communication, especially about significant issues like pornography. By living transparently, you can work to regain the trust of those you love and admire.

Remove Secrecy

Sharing reports of your device usage can help you tell the whole truth. Acknowledge your weaknesses and remove the illusion that all is fine. You can avoid isolation and not having to answer to anyone for your device usage. Humble yourself, be transparent, and invite open discussion about your online behavior.

Show Your Progress

You need to rebuild trust over time. Begin by telling the truth and invite others to observe your actions. You must demonstrate how you are changing for the better. Call out for help and prove your long-term success each day by showing your healthy behavior.

Discover Freedom

Accountability offers you freedom. You have hope of real and lasting change from poor choices and behavior. While you might have tried other ways to overcome pornography in your life, accountability in a supportive community can help you fulfill your commitment.

Accountability encourages self-control and enhances your willpower to succeed.

Accountability encourages self-control and enhances your willpower to succeed. Your health does not depend upon others. It’s not about what the accountability partner does; it’s about what you do to become a better person.

Using the Accountable2You app is better than a web filter because it monitors your device activity without inhibiting your actions. Others do not control you, and you can set your boundaries and restrictions. Accountability encourages personal reflection as you use your devices, knowing that you will have to explain your actions.

Develop New Habits

While pornography has characterized your past, it does not need to define your future. Take responsibility for your choices and commit to more healthy behavior. Pursue accountability so you will not be alone on your device. Rebuild trust and discover freedom through accountability. Take action today to change your life for the better!

Real-time accountability software

Accountable2You helps you make better choices with detailed monitoring and real-time reports for all your devices.
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