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My Husband Has No Desire for Accountability

by Ali Royann

Dear Ali,
My husband has no desire for accountability. What can I do to change his mind?

Hoping to Convince

Dear Hoping,

Successful accountability requires a willing heart—a desire to change and grow by making the right choices. If it is forced on someone, you will most likely not receive the results you were hoping for. Everyone struggles with something in life. But if a person does not feel the need to improve, then accountability offers little appeal.

Successful accountability requires a willing heart

It could be that your husband doesn’t see the need for accountability or the benefit it can provide. Ask him if there is a goal he would like to achieve or something he would like to accomplish. An accountability partner makes a great support system to encourage and motivate him toward reaching his goal.

It could also be that your husband is hesitant to enter an accountability partnership with you as his partner. He may not want to hurt you if he knows there is a chance for him to fail or get off track. He could also fear the judgment that would follow from poor choices. You could suggest a trusted friend or mentor to be his partner.

Accountability provides so many benefits to encourage successful life choices and cultivate stronger relationships. But the heart needs to want it too!

Yours in accountability,

“Ask Ali” is an op-ed column answering common questions about accountability and related topics.

Originally published on April 25, 2019

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