Ask Ali

“Ask Ali” is an op-ed column answering common questions about accountability and related topics. Do you have a question for Ali? Send your question to [email protected]. Please note that the views and opinions expressed may not represent those of Accountable2You.

Posts Tagged 'Ask Ali'

How to Be Sexually Pure While Dating

How to Be Sexually Pure While Dating

God takes sex very seriously, and so should we. So how can Christians stay sexually pure in a dating relationship? Here are some ways you can pursue purity.

Dear Sincere Christian, God takes sex very seriously, and so should we. His design for sexual intimacy is meant to be shared only in the confines of the marriage covenant. But Satan wants us to believe a lie. We are bombarded with false messages in movies, TV shows, novels, billboards, magazines, and music saying sexual purity is unrealistic and promiscuity is harmless. God created us to be sexual beings and enjoy the pleasures that the marriage relationship allows. But until such ...
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Confronting Your Spouse about a Sin Issue

Confronting Your Spouse about a Sin Issue

It’s not easy to confront a spouse, but it is often necessary to have a healthy marriage. Sweeping issues under the rug will only lead to worse problems.

Dear Concerned Christian, It’s not easy to confront a spouse about difficult topics, but it is necessary in order to have a healthy functioning marriage. Sweeping serious issues under the rug will lead to worse problems that encourage bitterness, resentment, and discontentment in the relationship. Marriage is a union of two imperfect, sinful people. If we come into marriage comparing our relationship with what we see in the movies or read in novels, we set ourselves up for unrealistic expectations ...
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Too Much Screen Time for Toddlers?

Too Much Screen Time for Toddlers?

The early years are critical in the development of a child’s brain. Parents should know about the harmful effects of too much screen time for toddlers.

Dear Caring, As a mom who is trying to get multiple tasks accomplished in a day, it is very tempting to place young children in front of a screen to keep them occupied. With laundry, meal preparation, cleaning, and errands, it can be overwhelming to get anything done with small children needing Mama’s attention. Television and devices can easily become a babysitter if we are not careful. As you may know, the first five years are critical in the development of ...
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How Can Kids Stay Accountable Outside the Home?

How Can Kids Stay Accountable Outside the Home?

What can you do as a parent to help your kids maintain accountability while at school, their friends’ houses, and other activities away from home?

Dear Uneasy, Way to go Mom and Dad for setting up accountability in your home! You are taking the right steps to teach your children the importance of taking personal responsibility for their actions and decisions. But how do you ensure that they continue this same behavior when you’re not around? From the time kids are young, we need to continue emphasizing the need for accountability as a lifestyle, not just what we do in the home. It involves much ...
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How to Balance Screen Time in My Family?

Balancing Screen Time in Your Family

In our technology-driven society, screen time replaces much of the time families used to spend together. How do we balance it with face-to-face interaction?

Dear Busy Dad, That is a legitimate concern, especially in our technology-driven society. Screen time is replacing much of the time families used to spend together. Sadly, we are often depriving our relationships of much-needed face-to-face interaction. When we spend too much time looking at a screen instead of each other, we miss out on valuable quality time with those we love. Three areas are particularly important to maintaining close, healthy connections within our family relationships. 1. Affection Technology provides an avenue to ...
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Friendship with Coworker

Does My Spouse Need to Know about This Friendship?

As a married woman, is it ok to be good friends with a male coworker without talking to your husband about this friendship?

Dear Reluctant, One of the most important relationships we get to enjoy is the union of marriage. Marriage vows are a commitment to keep ourselves solely unto our spouse until death. When we enter the marriage covenant, it is important to put in place boundaries and accountability to guard our relationship from outside temptation. If you maintain appropriate friendships with the opposite gender, there should be no hesitation to bring up these relationships with your spouse. The fact that your ...
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How to Affair-Proof a Marriage

How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

When a spouse has to travel regularly for work, what can the couple do to safeguard their marriage from any vulnerabilities?

Dear Attentive, I’m glad to hear that you want to do your best to keep your marriage covenant free from any vulnerabilities. Being intentional to maintain an honest, trusting relationship with your husband should certainly be a priority. Accountability is an important tool to have in place to ensure that transparency and integrity are desired by you both. While your husband is home, be sure to invest in your relationship! Marriage is directly related to your friendship with one another. ...
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Balancing Privacy and Accountability for Older Children

Balancing Privacy and Accountability for Older Children

As children get older and ask for more privacy, what is a good balance of granting freedom while maintaining parental involvement?

Dear Seeking, We have been entrusted with a great responsibility as parents. Our children are put into our care to raise, love, nurture, and teach them. Parenting requires a very hands-on approach when kids are young, but as they mature, the process gradually transitions more toward a mentoring role. As parents, we need to be involved in our kids’ lives. We need to give attention to their activities, friends, and interests. It’s important to maintain ongoing conversations about their lives. We ...
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Should I Accept a Friend Request from an Old Boyfriend?

Should I Accept a Friend Request from an Old Boyfriend?

I received a friend request on Facebook from an old boyfriend. I have a great relationship with my husband, so should I accept his request?

Dear Happily Married, Facebook is a great way to connect with friends and family and share life events. It has given us the ability to stay up to date with those who are not involved in our day-to-day lives. Ask yourself the following questions when determining whether to accept a friend request on social media. Have I talked with my husband about this person, and does he know the history behind our relationship? It is important to be honest and transparent ...
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Does Accountability Mean My Parents Don’t Trust Me?

Does Accountability Mean My Parents Don’t Trust Me?

The teen years are a period of intense growth, but the growing need for independence does not mean you are responsibly independent yet.

Dear Responsible Teen, The teen years are a period of intense growth—physically, emotionally, and intellectually! A lot is going on inside the mind and body of an adolescent. The desire for independence and the process of separating from your parents are normal and healthy. But the growing need for independence does not mean you are responsibly independent yet. You probably still rely on your parents for many things like laundry, meals, a home, and financial aid. Your parents seem ready to ...
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