Ask Ali

“Ask Ali” is an op-ed column answering common questions about accountability and related topics. Do you have a question for Ali? Send your question to [email protected]. Please note that the views and opinions expressed may not represent those of Accountable2You.

Posts Tagged 'Ask Ali'

My Husband Won’t Stop Using Pornography

My Husband Won’t Stop Using Pornography

My husband has struggled with pornography for years and gets angry when I ask about it. My trust in him is slowly breaking down. What can I do?

Dear Broken, You are valuable. You were fearfully and wonderfully made according to the Bible. Your worth is never based on the choices and actions of others. I hear and understand the hurt, pain, and mistrust you are feeling because of your husband’s pornography use. Nothing is more painful for a wife than the breaking of intimacy and the betrayal of trust through infidelity. But his choice to pursue fantasy over a real connection with you as his wife is not a reflection ...
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Can Adults Suffer from Too Much Screen Time?

Can Adults Suffer from Too Much Screen Time?

Too much screen time is bad for a child’s mind, but we adults need to be just as concerned about how devices are affecting our mental and physical health.

Dear Alex, As you’re aware, more and more studies are showing the harmful effects that excessive screen time has on children as their brains are still forming. But we adults also need to be just as concerned about how electronic devices are affecting our mental and physical health. Prolonged device use and excessive time on social media are linked to increased rates of depression—not only in youth but in adults too. Loss of Gratitude Gratitude and contentment keep us on a ...
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Tips for a Screen-Free Holiday

Tips for a Screen-Free Holiday

Holidays are a great time to practice being screen-free for the day! Cell phones tend to divert attention from what’s happening around us.

Dear Preparing, Holidays are a great time to practice being screen-free for the day! Cell phones tend to divert attention from what’s happening around us. The mere presence of a phone suggests the potential for a new post, text, or email which affects the quality of the conversation around us. Some of the most meaningful conversations can happen around the dinner table. But sadly, studies suggest that one in three Americans can’t get through an entire meal without being on their ...
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Can Screen Time Cause Depression?

Can Screen Time Cause Depression?

Many parents see the dangers that online content can cause for their kids, but few realize that screen time itself can be just as harmful.

Dear Digital, That’s a good question, and the simple answer is yes. Many parents are aware of the dangers that harmful images and content can cause for their kids, but few realize that screen time itself can be just as harmful. Studies show that kids who consume more than three hours of screen time a day have increased rates of depression, regardless of the content viewed. Kids who consume more than 5 hours a day are 71% more likely to ...
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Halloween Safety for Older Kids and Teens

Halloween Safety for Older Kids and Teens

How can you encourage your kids to be safe this Halloween? Having teens who want to make responsible choices will help to ensure a fun holiday!

Dear Janet, Hopefully, over the years you have established a good pattern of accountability in your home. Having teens who have earned your trust goes a long way in determining what you are comfortable allowing them to do. As your kids prepare for Halloween, be sure to discuss the following areas of accountability with them: 1. Costumes Dressing up is a fun way to express yourself creatively, but as kids get older, costumes tend to be more mature. Talk with your teens ...
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How Can I Keep My Kids Safe Online?

How Can I Keep My Kids Safe Online?

Is it possible to keep kids safe online? Filtering and blocking software can’t catch all the bad stuff, so what’s a parent to do?

Dear Watchful, I’m glad to hear that you’re paying attention to your kids’ online safety and not trusting too much in a web filter! Many companies have done a great job of convincing parents that their software will keep our families and children “safe” and “protected” online. While blocking, filters, and monitoring can help children by keeping them accountable for their actions and decisions, no software will ever keep them safe and protected. Such statements are over-promising what they simply cannot ...
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Teach Your Kids about Online Predators

Teach Your Kids about Online Predators

Online predators are tricky and persuasive, so kids have a hard time recognizing the danger. How can we teach our children to be safe online?

Dear Wary, I highly encourage parents to wait until their kids are prepared to make responsible decisions about situations they could encounter with strangers before allowing access to chat rooms, online multiplayer games, or social media accounts. Online predators are tricky and persuasive, especially to vulnerable youth. Without the ability to use good judgment, this type of interaction should be off-limits. Currently, many of the social media apps such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat prohibit users under 13 years old. ...
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Tips for Good Communication in Marriage

4 Tips for Good Communication in Marriage

Good communication in marriage can be so hard sometimes, but it’s essential to a healthy relationship. Improve your interactions with these practical tips.

Dear Lost, Good communication is an essential part of a successful marriage. The lack of this crucial factor is a leading factor in infidelity and divorce. So here are four ways to encourage continual, healthy conversation with your spouse. 1. Address Issues Discuss issues when they occur. Don’t let problems fester. When bitterness and resentment have opportunity to grow, communication in marriage breaks down as well as your bond and friendship. Focus on the issue itself and avoid attacking one another. Identify ...
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Encourage Accountability in Your Church

Encourage Accountability in Your Church

Church accountability is surprising low, but you can encourage trusting relationships in your congregation by focusing on these key areas.

Dear Shepherding, Accountability in the church is surprising low. In 2010, the Barna Group did a study and discovered only 5% of Christian churchgoers had any type of accountability in their church. George Barna explained the findings: Barna Group studies among pastors and other church leaders have consistently shown that such leaders have a distaste for initiating any type of confrontation and conflict with congregants. Another barrier is that many followers of Christ are uncertain about the difference between judgment ...
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Less Screen Time for Children

Less Screen Time for Children

As parents, how can we encourage less screen time for our children? What alternatives can we offer to boost their development?

Dear Conscientious, I understand your concern, as devices provide unlimited access to entertainment. Games and social media distractions can keep our kids glued to a screen way too long. Self-control is an important skill that will benefit our children in all areas of life, not just when it comes to screen time. As parents, it is always best to lead by example. Demonstrate what self-control looks like. When using your device, it is wise to set a time limit. Be purposeful ...
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